Reevaluating

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Last Wednesday was my one year anniversary here at Foxy. Since I’ve been blogging for a decade, I usually find bloggers celebrating their anniversaries to be adorable. I’m like the lady who stopped counting her age watching her children proudly declare their age to the exact fraction. I feel old.

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I can’t remember if I’ve ever written about it here, but on my other blog I talk regularly about my living with Bipolar II disorder and the changes I’ve had to make to my life to manage it. One of the major changes was installing an emergency break in my head. Now I realize I don’t have the luxury of coasting gently to a stop when my speed gets away from me. I have to drop everything and yank that break with all my might so I don’t crash.

I’ve decided that Foxy has to be a casualty of my emergency break use.

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It seems fitting to end this as an anniversary celebration. It is somehow now a year long creative experiment instead of something I’m giving up on. And I saw so so many benefits to this experiment. So many benefits that I won’t be giving up on it entirely, I’ll just be bringing the outfit posts back to Reese Dixon where they started as part of Project Put Together. I’ll still post at least a couple a month. I just have to cry uncle and admit that I’m not giving this the attention it really would require to succeed as a blog on its own and I have to sacrifice it for the good of everything else I want to do.

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As I was looking back through my posts to choose the outfits I really loved, or the pictures that made me feel great, I was so so grateful I did this. I wish every woman could do this for a year. Not only did the time and attention to how I present myself help me to rediscover myself, but believe it or not, this little style blog really helped me to conquer some appearance issues. Appearance issues that Every. Single. Woman. has. Probably every single person. As a not-thin person there have been times I’ve seen pictures of myself and I cried. As a person who is now 34 there have been times when I looked at myself in the mirror and only saw changes that made me unhappy. This project changed all that, but not in the ways you might expect.

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I didn’t suddenly stop seeing the things about myself that I wasn’t such a fan of. I just started to see them in context. By taking the pictures, processing the pictures, posting the pictures, I seemed to be putting myself through a kind of immersion therapy. I was seeing images of myself so much, some horribly unflattering ones that I deleted immediately and some that made me feel great, I kind of just, got used to how I looked. And then I started seeing things in a different way. I still have feelings about my stomach, but now those feelings are countered by great feelings I have too. Including being aware of the physical difference that comes over me when I feel confident. Those early pictures are shocking to me in their difference from the most recent. And all because I learned what a huge difference it makes to be thoughtful in how I carry and present myself.

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Which was really what this experiment was all about. As a feminist and a social justice advocate, I have always had very complicated feelings towards fashion and consumerism and female objectification. My intention in all this was to put some thought into how I portrayed myself, and what do you know, I became my own best convert.

As I mentioned, I’ll still be posting outfit posts on ReeseDixon.com. Thank you for being in this experiment with me.

What I wore to church on Sunday

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I wore pants to church on Sunday. Which might not sound like a big deal to you, and it totally shouldn’t have been a big deal, but boy howdy did it turn into a deal. It was just supposed to be a silent sign that women in my church care about women’s issues and wish to open a dialogue about that. Instead we lost friends, were told we were defiant and unrighteous, and even threatened with death. That seems about right for a bunch of Christians, eh? We have our work cut out for us.

Entire Outfit: Thrifted

Blue Steel

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Sometimes I don’t know quite what to do with myself in front of the camera. So I goof around, and then I get giggly laughing at what a dork I am, and I hope that somewhere in there is a picture that doesn’t make me look like a dummy. I don’t always succeed. Taking daily pictures of yourself can be rough. But when I get nervous or self-critical I just repeat like a mantra: “Be the change. Be the change. Be the change.”

Be the change you want to see in the world. That’s what Ghandi said. So I have to get over myself, look like a dork sometimes, learn to ignore the parts about my body I don’t like, and put it out there. I want to look at women who look like me. So I better start with me. Right?

Deep breath. Be the change be the change be the change.

Shoes: Marshalls
Skirt: I made it, and the pattern is free from Burda Style!
Shirt: TJ Maxx
Necklace: Etsy

Resort Wear

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I have such a wicked case of Senior-itis it’s not even funny. I’ve been sitting at this keyboard, trying to coach myself on, and I got nothing. Nothing interesting to say. I need a vacation. A vacation from my problems.* I’m off for a family reunion in Utah so instead of trying to schedule posts I’m going to give myself permission to take a break. I’m going to be back here on July 16th, hopefully recharged and reinspired and raring to go. Hope you all have a wonderful holiday and find some relaxation of your own.

*What About Bob reference. Even my whining is unoriginal.

Shoes: Payless
Pants: Gap
Shirt: JC Penny
Necklace: I made it.
 

Spring Flowers

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This Spring is acting much more like our Winter as it’s raining again as I type this. We got a few days of sun over the weekend, and we made good use of it with park time and Sonic Creamslushes. And I pulled out a flouncy floral skirt to relish the good weather before it disappeared behind rain clouds again.

I don’t often wear this style of skirt. I usually stick to pencil skirts or things that hug a little closer. I always heard that full skirts are not for top-heavy women so I don’t just look wide all over. But in my quest to prove that all the “rules” for dressing for your body type are a load of bunk, I gave myself the challenge. And I felt great in it. Once you abandon the thought that there is only one appropriate way for your body to look, clothes become a whole lot more fun.

Shoes: Payless
Skirt: Old Navy
Shirt: Target
Jacket: Old Navy
Bracelets: Cost Plus Imports
Necklace: Vintage

How I Accessorize the Flu

Family Flu
Not even two months in to this new blog endeavor I discovered the impossibility of working sick. At ReeseDixon.com I can always craft through a runny nose and no one will be the wiser. I can’t exactly take an outfit post when I’m pale and wan and shivering. Not to mention that when the entire family is sick, mom still has to be the nurse. I’ve been buried under needy little things all week long.

My best accessory? Fuzzy lounge pants and loads of kleenex.